Swinging means different things to different people, but most people
agree that among couples, swinging means opening up your sex life to include
other people. This may mean one, two, or more people getting together to
explore their sexuality. Swinging is definitely a sexual activity; it's
not about cheating on your spouse. It should be STRICTLY physical or mental
enjoyment between consenting adults.
Swinging does not necessarily mean intercourse. Sexual activity in swinging can range from flirting to intercourse with multiple partners. Beginners should obviously start slowly. Both partners must agree to what limits they are comfortable with. This is especially important for women. Some couples like to watch or be watched. Others draw the line at actual intercourse. It's up to you, but please discuss the limits up front and in advance. It may be awkward feeling, but it's a lot easier than trying to stop something once it has already begun.
Most first time women are very leery and nervous about swinging and it's critical they start slowly and are comfortable with the situation. First time nervousness is perfectly normal and understandable. As all experienced swingers can attest; many promising encounters have gone sour when a novice woman is uncomfortable with the situation. One unwilling partner can completely stop a promising evening.
In order to avoid this, it is important that the woman talk. An experienced lady can oftentimes talk a first-timer through the nervousness and concerns. If you are new to this and searching, keep this in mind. There are too many eager husbands and significant others who try to get their partner involved in something they are plain and simply not interested. If you are one of these men, please consider this. Swinging is definitely NOT for everyone and no one should be forced or encouraged to do something they are uncomfortable with.
Who is swinging NOT right for?
If you are the jealous type, swinging probably won't work for you. If you are uncomfortable about your sexuality, same thing. If you are looking for an experience with movie star quality people, good luck. Most swingers are like you, very ordinary looking people. Swingers come in all shapes, colors, sizes, ages, and sexual orientations. We're your neighbors, friends, and co-workers.
Bisexuality and swinging
Many people who participate in the lifestyle explore their bisexual
side. Whether they are truly bisexual is an academic question. This is
especially true for woman. Many ladies enjoy the touch of another woman
in a swinging situation, but are not necessarily attracted to other women
in the rest of their lives. It seems like there are more woman exploring
their bisexual side than there are men who try it. Most people have bisexual
curiosity, but it appears ladies into swinging are more willing to explore
this aspect of their sexuality. You know what we mean; how many times have
you seen an ad that points out that she is bi, but he is absolutely, 100%,
totally, completely, under no circumstances, completely straight as the
proverbially arrow. To each his or her own....
Quality or Quantity?
This one is easy. If you ask any couple who has been involved in swinging for any period of time, they'll give you the same answer. One quality experience is much more satisfying that 5 or 6 mediocre experiences. Don't keep score or get desperate. Persistence pays off. You'll find what you're looking for.
Single men?
There sure are lots of them out there, aren't there? Sure there's a place for them, if that's what you're into. Many couples have had great experiences with a single guy and you certainly have a million to choose from!
Interested in more?
There are some very wild couples and singles out there, but caution is critical. Lots of couples get into various degrees of bondage play in private and it can be an incredibly intense and fulfilling experience, but think about it before you do it with strangers. The potential for injury or other unpleasant experiences is definitely out there. Proceed with extreme caution.
Swing Clubs
There are two types of swing clubs out there. Off-premises clubs are like singles bars. You meet and then take your passion elsewhere. On-premises clubs are usually private homes where there are bedrooms available for intimate activities.
Both type of clubs can produce good results. Many of the people at clubs are frequent visitors and have their partners arranged before they arrive. To achieve successful results, you may have to go to the club several times. Most clubs do welcome and encourage new members and will try to make you feel at home on your first visit.
Ready to get started?
The first thing you will want to do is get an annonymous e-mail address. In order to protect your privacy, you can sign up for one free at one of the following places: Yahoo, Hotmail, Excite, and Mailcity.
After you have done that, we recommend you check out some of the sites with some ads. We have plenty here, but if you don't find anything appealing, try some of the sites lised on the Swingers 100, or place your own. Don't be shy! You also may want to cruise around the CoupleSwing Webring. There are alot of very nice couples in the ring who would be more than happy to discuss swinging with you. You can also find other couples pages on the links page here.
When you do contact someone, be honest. Tell them what you are really looking for and share some information about you. If your first few attempts don't work out, don't get discouraged. There are alot of phonies out here in cyberspace, but there are also plenty of us who are geniune, real people. You also may want to try some chat rooms. The most active one is #Swingers on the undernet. To get more information on it go to undernet.org. There are some great people in chat rooms, but be careful! Tons of kids and phonies are hanging around chat rooms too!
Once you've met someone via e-mail or chat, arrange to talk to them on the phone before you meet. You can find out alot about someone on the phone and avoid some major disappointments. When you do meet, make sure it's a no pressure meeting. First meetings can be nerve wracking enough without adding the pressure of feeling like you hve to do something right away.
Finally, relax and have fun! It may take you a while to meet compatible
people, but they are out there!
